11 abr. 2008

¡NUEVA SECCIÓN!

DIME LO QUE SUEÑAS...
Y TE DIRÉ... ¡UUUHHH! o ¡AHHHH! o ¡AYYYY!
(dependiendo del caso)

Estimado/as lectores/as tenemos el agrado de tener, de ahora en adelante, un nuevo servicio gratuito, en su blog amigo. El Dr. Alberto Sueñardi (en retrato adjunto) Especialista en técnicas del cognocitivismo, lógica en sueños, apoliyeo y menesteres del catre de la Universidad de Sleepy Ville. Se ha pasado seis años durmiendo hasta las tres de la tarde, haciendo estudios de campo o de Catre. Nos acerca a esta interesante ciencia del analisis e interpretación de sueños.

Algunos significados de los sueños más frecuentes:

Laberinto: este sueño se presenta cuando desgraciadamente nos sentimos perdidos, confundidos y medio como enredados en un mar de cosas que nos agitan la existencia. Sentís dudas y temes tomar una decisión sobre eso, que tanto te costó entender. También puede ser que hallas visto la película del mismo nombre donde actúa David Bowie… en ese caso internate.

Llorar: por medio del sueño expresas una emoción profunda de dolor, desahogándote de las presiones que te atrapan, te sacuden y te golpean. También puede ser que te hallas golpeado con la mesita de luz al darte vuelta, y estes muy dormida para diferenciar sueño de realidad. En este caso seguí durmiendo tranquila, pero arropate bien.

Puente: significa unión de dos cosas que estaban separadas… si es muy original este significado. Está referido a dos cosas que no estaban unidas… ya sé estoy redundando, ¿No?. Es cuando te peleas con tu novio/pareja/amigo del alma, etc. Y se reconcilian o se juntan. Todo cambia si el puente está roto o te empujan del puente al río.

Desnudo: te queres mostrar tal y como sos, bueno no sé si sea aconsejable que después de soñar esto salgas corriendo como te trajeron al mundo, pero ayudaría. Si en el sueño te sentís incomoda/o es que no te sentís satisfecho con tu actual estado o estas como desamparado/a.

Insectos o Políticos: Si es durante una siesta… significa que tenes acumulados sentimientos negativos, rencorosos y horribles respecto del mundo que te rodea. Consejo: no vuelvas a dormir una siesta evidentemente no te hace muy bien. En otros momentos es simplemente aberración a los insectos o a los políticos o a los políticos insectos o viceversa.

Escalera: si la subís: tu vida es un éxito, tu mamá te ama, tus amigos te admiran, tu pareja está enamorada de vos, en el trabajo sos indispensable y el sol brilla sobre un colchón de frutillas y flores de colores. Si la bajas: no te hagas problema, no queres saber lo que significa. Ponele que todo va a mejorar.

Espejos
: Si te estás mirando, te queres mucho… si soñas el espejo sólo… es que queres que te regalen un espejo para tu cumpleaños. Si está roto: rompiste un espejo y te preocupa la mala suerte. O bien lo rompiste, no era tuyo y no queres que se enoje tu amiga Sofía.

Crayones, una hoja en blanco en una mesa de color negro: significa cambio de ambiente, mudanza, futuro trabajo, te encontraras $10 en el subte (algo es algo). Si la hoja está escrita o con garabatos indescifrables puede tener que ver algo que trabajes en un jardín de infantes o en la administración de alguna oficina.

Tres pollitos bailando un tema de los setenta (Funky town por ejemplo): es preocupación sobre factores que realmente no podría explicar en pocas palabras y que al usar ciertos tecnicismos que se relacionan con el tema de los sueños, el factor de la fase REM en que se desarrolla y el momento exacto de la vigilia en que afloran estas imágenes se asocien con ideas similares a la locura. Si es eso: estás medio tocadito, te faltan caramelos en el frasco, estás jugando con los suplentes, te falla el marote… ¿Sigo con las analogías o ya lo captaste?

Tu mamá, tu tía Enriqueta, la nona y tres apuestos hombres bailando la vida loca: hace falta una explicación…. Ahhh si, bueno… es así como que no te sentís bien con el mundo… tomate un tilo.


Por supuesto, no es una ciencia exacta, por lo que hay posibilidades que el significado varíe de acuerdo al caso, lugar en que estes durmiendo, de que lado de la cama estes, el factor pijama, si te destapaste, si sos nene o nena y si es martes. Por lo que hay un porcentaje del 00,2 al 98 % de falla. Envíen sus sueños al correo de este Blog o en los comentarios y el Dr los interpretara en la próxima entrega..

91 comentarios:

Fenrisar dijo...

See Please Here

Dumuro dijo...

See Please Here

Rapote dijo...

Yo sueño repetidamente con que aparecen en mi Blog comentarios del tipo "-See Please Here"...

Sueño luego a los comentaristas de ésos mensajes escribiéndolos con tiza azul clarito sobre una hoja negra sobre una mesa blanca dentro de un cuarto ocre lleno de dinosaurios púrpuras de peluche.

En medio de ellos un Dragón de Komodo inmóvil que, de golpe y cuando los tipos se quieren ir del cuarto, salta a sus yugulares.

¿Qué significado/s tiene este sueño recurrente Dr. Sueñardi?

¡Dele, dígame!
Rapote

Mona Loca dijo...

Perrrrrdóoooooonnn?????
qué pasa con Laberinto, la película????
Ojito, eh!!!
No tire de la cuerda, o soñará qeu lo tiro del puente a un río.

Onirica dijo...

Yp tengo un suelo recurrente... es posta.... sueño muy seguido que tengo accidentes fatales en los quedo casi muerta... nunca llego a morir y me recupero milagrosamente en uel ultimo instante.... los accidentes siempre varian pero casi siemrpe son de transito..
tiene que ayudarme doctoooorrrr!!!

unServidor dijo...

Profe, borre esos Spamentarios.

En un tiempo viví en un deptito pegado a un consultorio del que se oía todo. Era usual que Toooodo sueño signifique sólo una cosa: sexo.
Considerando que el tipo tiraba profilácticos a plantabaja por el aire-luz, no me extraña. Lo cómico (y creo que ahí me oyó la risa) fue cuando convenció a sus pacientes femeninas y jóvenes (oh casualidad) más bonitas en "un" grupo (con argumentos profesionales, claro... ellas no conocían al resto de la clientela). La cosa es que una vez tras un fino trabajo de sugestión profesional, las hizo hacer con su cuerpo todo lo que les salga (con suerte, lo violaban). Ahí fue cuando me reí al escuchar en el final que decía "Pero ojo, que Fulana se haya refregado las tetas con Mengana, NO debe interpretarse como algo sexuaaal"...

Hasta que me mudé seguía atendiendo. Y todo sueño, aunque fuera en un rasti, era meramente SEXO.

PD: A alguna convenció y "trató", por cuanto digo de los profilácticos...

claudia dijo...

La verdad, pagaría para poder soñar alguna vez con pollitos bailando algún tema de los 70 ... El humor de mi día sería totalmente angelical después del sueño desopilante...

Celes dijo...

Laberinto es Genial! No me quieras cagar mi infancia TAN feliz que tuve con esa película (que por cierto... ningnún amigo mio la vio, yo no entiendo!) es genial!!!

los demás son excelentes...
TANTO, que me tomé mi tiempo para buscarte un sueño que tuve yo y que había escrito en mi blog hermoso:
http://ysinobrilla.blogspot.com/2008/02/facultad-o-alemania.html

Divertite, y cuando sepas qué signifique, me avisás =p

Saludos!

Isabel Romana dijo...

Querido profe, llevo unos días soñando con un espacio todo negro, negro, negro. No se ve ni una lucecita. ¿Significa que soy muy pesimista o que se me ha roto mi pc? Espero su interpretación para alviar mi angustia.
Saludos cordiales.

Tina dijo...

Yo si miro algún programa inmediatamente antes de dormir seguro que sueño su segunda parte en la que obvio yo soy la protagonista!
Por eso siempre trato de mirar Playboy como último programa!
Ja.

El Profe dijo...

Fenrisar y Dumurro: I don´t see any please there. Thank Anyway :D

Rapote: Ese sueño se está convirtiendo en una constante últimamente, desde que hice click en el primer here comencé a soñar lo mismo que vos, pero con la leve diferencia que en vez de un dargón de Komodo era un pitufo rabioso. Sobre el significado el Doctor dijo: "Duermo un par de días más y te digo... pero es normal".

Mona: No tengo nada en contra de Laberinto, de hecho es una de mis películas favoritas. Lo loco es soñarse en la película, esto según el doctor, que le gustan las películas de Sandro, Palito Ortega y Leonardo Fabio. Por otro lado si sueña que me tira "accidentalmente de un puente" según el doctor es "simpaía hacia mí". :D

Onirica: según lo que me señalo el Doctor entre sueños fue "Dejame dormirrr.... es una preocupación leve por una situación que puede arreglarse en pocos días si ella hace el esfuerzo, sin necesidadd de abrumarse."

Unservidor: Dice el Doctor Sueñardi que si el tipo era pelado es su ex-compañero de la facultad, Darío Lafija que antes trabajaban en el mismo consultorio y que por razones obvias lo abandonó, el se encargaba de la limpieza.

Claudia: yo mismo debo admitir que he soñado con pollitos. El doctor me tiene bajo tratamiento con música de Chuiquititas, Patito Feo y Hanna Montana. :S

Celes:Ya se lo dije a Mona... ¡Laberinto es una de mis películas preferidas! Según el doctor que el domingo se levantó a las cinco de la tarde dijo..."Preparame un café...decile a la niña Celes que comience a ver películas de Ben Stiler o Adam Sandler...me tomo algo y me voy a dormir unos minutos más".

Isabel: El doctor me dijo "Qué prenda la luz... es un sueño recurrente en gente que se despierta en medio de la noche y después piensa que soño todo negro, eso o que abra los ojos"
No es pesimismo, en todo caso.

Tina:¡JA! eso me ha pasado varias veces... nunca se me ocurrió cambiar la programación, la última vez me soñe en "Rescatando al soldado Olivera"... si, yo buscaba rescatar a un ex-compañero del secundario.

A todos Muchas gracias por la visita :D Menos a Fenrisar y Dumurro que me parece que no son gente de a de veras >:P...

Tina dijo...

"Rescatando al soldado Olivera"!!

Me suena a que es una de Olmedo y Porceeeel!! Jijiji.

El Profe dijo...

Tina: Ahora que lo decís puede ser.. Jajajajajaja XD

Santiago dijo...

EEE...COMO DECIRLO...YO SOÑE QUE HOMERO SIMPSON ME TIRABA PEPINOS (¿?) NO ES JODA... Y TENGAN SEGURO QUE LO VOY A POSTEAR ESO....
..
..PERO SI!!...NUEVO POSTEO..NO SE TRATA DE ESO ..PERO ESTA BUENO..AJJA..

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ENTRE Y FIMRE DOTOR!!!

El Profe dijo...

Santiago: Soñar con Homero Simpson según el doctor es "fijación cuasi-simbólica con la imagen paterna degradada por razones de empatía filial y televisiva. Los pepinos son aberración vegetariana sino te gustan los pepinos, claro está."... no sé que quiso decir con lo primero, pero bueno, es lo que hay.

tiacosas dijo...

Hay un sueño entre todos, que siempre me ha llenado de curiosidad. Soñé que presenciaba un naufragio, y que los únicos restos de las víctimas eran huesos resecos. Un cocinero, para devolverles la vida, hervía los restos óseos. Y en mi sueño, en un atardecer, veía crecer la carne lentamente.

Qué significa eso??

Si lo logras decifrar, hay de premio un sánguche de mortadela.

El Profe dijo...

Tiacosas: el premio es más que intresesante... el doctor se acaba de levantar de un estudio de campo (mal llamado siesta...
"Según la psicología el naufragío es la perdida de la esperanza, o el naufragío de proyectos... así que si asististe y sólo como testigo que no se haga drama. Huesos es hipocresía... y ansias. Por último la carne... bueno es por todo el problema con los precios, que está cara, que no hay... pero en conclusión es más o menos así..." ahí fue cuando se durmió, cuando despierte te doy más información.

Silvio Rodríguez dijo...

Doctor: Sueño con serpientes, con serpientes de mar... Con cierto mar ¡ay! de serpientes, sueño yo...

El Profe dijo...

SilvioRodriguez: el doctor duerme... pero seguramente sabrá responderte en breve, ah no estaba tan dormido. "no solamente es desagradable, es presagio de problemas provocados por la mentira, el engaño, la traición o el sexo, si son de mar está todo bien porque en el mar la vida es más sabrosa, ¿Ahora me puedo ir a dormir?" Vaya doctor.
Espero te halla aclarado algo.
Bienvenido

Mar dijo...

Vengo tan atrasada con mi lectura de la blogósfera que sueño que hago los comentarios pero en realidad no los hago y además sonñé con muchos caballos, muchos, muchos, algunos me daban patadas pero sin querer eh.

El Profe dijo...

Mar: Según Freud, los caballos representan esa idea fija que éste tenía por el "sexo"... Soñabas con una taza de azúcar y un limón... y el tipo de decía "sexo".
Según el Doctor Sueñardi "Los caballos son representación de la libertad.. si te patean sin querer, en el próximo sueño correte un poquito más al costado, así los ves pasar y no te pegan... soñar que haces comentarios indica genialidad o locura, es a elección."
Un abrazo.

zippo dijo...

Tarde, mal y nunca lleguè a este post, pero bueh!(tèngame paciencia, profe, tòmeme de nuevo mañana)
Pregùntele al dr, cuando se levante plis, qùe significa soñar con calaveras danzantes a la luz de la luna una mùsica cantada por niños de tono medio escalofriante.Le añado que esa noche habìa comido locro con panceta, guau.

Onirica dijo...

yo soy hermana de santiago...y si.. tenemos aberracion por nuestro padre!! juajau.. y gracias doctor porque alcararme lo de mis sueños recurrentes.

El Profe dijo...

Zippo: si bien al despertarlo me arrojó una pantufla, alcancé a preguntarle y mientras me maldecia dijo: "Soñar con esqueletos y calavaeras es desgracia... sumado que eran danzantes... es alegría, a la luz de la luna con mùsica cantada por niños es algo así como cuando te molesta la húmedad o te apretan los zapatos... Lo que puede entenderse como fuuras desdichas y desengaños. Ahora si esa noche comió locro con panceta, probablemente este apunto re recibir un premio..." el resto no puedo traducirlo eran malas palabras dirigidas a mí. Saludos Nunca es tarde. ¡Saqué una hoja!

Onirica: Gracias dice el doctor saludos... :D

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