27 ago 2008

¡Uy! ¡Uy! ¡Con un Post de retraso!

LA INEVITABLE MULTIPLICIDAD DEL SER
¿SOS ACASO UNA PERSONA MÚLTIPLE?

Ciertas costumbres nos persiguen de por vida, como por ejemplo hacer más de una cosa al mismo tiempo. Este tipo de hábitos se van instaurando con el correr del tiempo y a veces pueden ocasionar ciertos problemas. Si alguna vez oyeron la expresión "El que mucho abarca poco aprieta" existe cierto tipo de sujetos especiales dotados de una capacidad extra, los denominados "Individuos Múltiples" o “Persona multifunción”. Si, hacen más de dos cosas al mismo tiempo y no me refiero a comer chicle y caminar al mismo tiempo, es más complejo que eso. Existen personas múltiples de todas las edades, credos, colores y tamaños. Aquí ilustraremos algunos de ellos.

¡PERSONAS MULTIFUNCIÓN!

El pequeño esclavo de las máquinas: este pequeño individuo será en un futuro un peligroso caso de multiplicidad de acción, mientras mira su canal favorito, juega con su play, usa la compu para chatear, toma una chocolatada con galletitas o gaseosa y piensa que excusa utilizará para disculparse por no haber hecho su tarea de mañana. Pueden desdoblar sus globos oculares para mirar diversas acciones resultantes de sus multi-actividades. Si se corta la luz o uno de sus juguetes falla se vuelven hiperquinéticos insoportables. Si su hijo se parece a la ilustración... ¡Qué lindo su nene señora!

El tipo equilibrista múltiple de los transportes públicos: es casi un deportista extremo, suele vérselos en distintos medios de transporte públicos (Subtes, colectivos, barcos a vapor y otros). Generalmente no se agarran de ningún pasamano, ni medios de abrasión normales de agarre que ya traen los transportes. Al tener todas las manos ocupadas (las dos) van haciendo equilibrio en el medio del pasillo o se sostienen con la gente, aprovechando el poco espacio de estos reducidos medios. Con una mano suele aprovechar el tiempo de viaje para leer o estudiar, mientras revisa sus mensajes de texto, sosteniendo algún bolso, o accesorios como plantas, cajas, tomando agua mineral y comiendo snacks. No hablan, contestan con monosílabos y sonidos como: si, ni, no, nis, ummm, ahá, y cof.

La chica múltiple que va por la calle, si, caminando: el aprieto al que la somete el tiempo, ya sea para llegar al trabajo o a la facultad hacen que este tipo de señoritas lleven cosas y accesorios, los cuales irá perdiendo en el camino… bolsas con libros, carteras, gaseosas (porque necesitan hidratarse) ¡Y también atienden el celular! No es conveniente caminar tras de ellas porque recibiremos el impacto de las cosas que va perdiendo. Tampoco delante, probablemente te embistan.

La jodida señora múltiple del supermercado: estas señoras han sido múltiples desde su nacimiento. Suelen salir a la vereda de algún expendio de verduras, abarrotes y alimentos munidas de carteras, monederos, bolsa malla para las verduras, las compras y en algunos casos carritos personales. Suelen tener un humor más o menos de perros atados sin comida y con ansias de morderte. Por ninguna razón les digas “¿Puedo ayudarla señora/abuela/doña?” probablemente te de golpes con cualquiera de sus accesorios adjuntos Gritándote “Quesheacreídomocosoinsolente”.

El tipo peligrosamente múltiple al volante: los individuo/as son un caso perdido y casi clínico. El peligro radica en que manejan un vehículo, mientras hablan por celular, comen chicle con una sutileza no envidiada por las vacas cuando mastican su pasto, fuman, cantan una canción y hasta van leyendo el diario de reojo. En su modelo femenino las he visto hacer todo lo anterior sumando el maquillaje entre semáforos y buscar algo en la cartera. Si los ves ¡Denúncialos!

Y dicen que hay más... ¿Conoces algún otro tipo?

(Este post fue inspirado y basado en una comentarista de este blog :D con cariño obvio. Cualquier semejanza con la concidencia es pura realidad y queda entre nosostros Celes).

96 comentarios:

El Doc 9 dijo...

Navegando, te encontrè. Del tema dibujo conozco, por mi hermano Mato y sus caricaturas. Un abrazo Profe, pasare seguido por aqui

Mordizcos dijo...

Exelente profe!!

yo soy como el niño, cambiando tele por impresoras, maquinas, dando soporte a usuarios con un telefono y con el otro llamando a la nena para ver si ya salió del club. Tomando cafe, mate, comiendo chocolates. Atendiendo publico y bahhh ta ta ta!!

besos

El Profe dijo...

Doc 9: ¡Bienvenido! pasa cuando gustes la puertas están abiertas ¡Un abrazo para vos también!

Mordizcos: te entiendo te entendio... (prometo ese tipo de personas múltiples en lugares de trabajo en otra entrega, conozco varias incluyome :D)
¡Besotes!

MariaCe dijo...

Bueno, yo tengo un único momento multifunción. Es espontáneo, inconsciente, y jamás funciona como debería. Se trata de la modalidad "multifunción por intento de comprimir el tiempo debido a despertamiento tarde".
Es así: me despierto, y ya la naturaleza (bueh, el reló) me avisa que faltan 4 minutos para que comience mi jornada laboral, y yo en 4 minutos tengo que: saltar de la cama, procurar no caerme mientras bajo corriendo la escalera (ya me ocurrió algunas veces), higienizarme aunque sea mínimamente, ponerme las lentes de contacto porque si no el mundo corre el riesgo de ser embestido por mí, preparar desayuno para niño, levantar niño (baño, uniforme), alimentar gato (digo "gato" por referirme a la especie en general, de la cual tengo una buena muestra acá en casa como usted ya sabe), llevarlo al jardin (al niño, no al gato), encender la pc y el msn para que mi jefa vea que estoy ya casi al pie del cañón laboral, hablar aunque sea sola en alta voz para que cuando suene el teléfono con el primer llamado laboral no se note que todavía estoy dormida, y finalmente sentarme frente a la pc y empezar a trabajar.
De más está decir que en esos cuatro minutos, cuanta menos gente se me cruce, mejor. Para ellos.

El Profe dijo...

MariaC: ¿Y todo en 4 minutos? ¿Cómo haces? ¡Esto es imposible!
... me ha pasado por culpa del despertador algo similar, pero nunca he bajado de los 10 minutos para irme a trabajar... sos una especie de supermujer :D eso es record olímpico ¡Medalla de oro Ya al mejor tiempo en "Multifunción por intento de comprimir el tiempo debido a despertamiento tarde"! XD
¡Un besote!

tiacosas dijo...

Yo soy una mezcla peligrosa entre el chico del subte tren colectivo y la chica que va perdiendo cosas en el camino. Las pierdo, las olvido, las pongo en cualquier lado. En el tren también soy un aparato y cuando me doy cuenta que hago 25 cosas a la vez, me empiezo a reir como demente y la gente me miiiiira. Aun no aprendí a controlarlo. Es un impulso inconciente.

Un abrazooo, prefeseur!

ale dijo...

Me sumo al primer ejemplo, un poco por gusto otro por necesidad. Esto de la vida ha hecho que uno se acostumbre a tener encima la PC, el celular, el café, los apuntes, la TV prendida, los puchos, el café... y tratando de que ninguno se junte con el otro (sobre todo los últimos dos con la primera!).

Maldito nuevo milenio. ¬¬

Celes dijo...

Eaaaaaaaa
me emocioné!
Ahí estoy yo!! jajaja

Es tal cual che!
O me compro una cartera más grande de la que tengo o me llevo un changuito de supermercado jajaja

(qué fea que queda la gente comiendo chicle, yo no como chicle, no me gusta. Pero si, parecen vacas jaja)

Un beso!!

Y gracias =)

Mordizcos dijo...

Celes estas igualita!!

Celes dijo...

jaajaj por fin alguien me dibuja linda!
=)

ChaPa ((( 22 ))) dijo...

Jajaja... Muy bueno Profe!

Me tenés que dibujar a mi algún día! Bah, no se si te va a alcanzar la hoja!


Jaja...


Saludos Rector, ah no, Profe!


ChaPa ((( 22 )))

El Profe dijo...

Tiacosas: linda mezcla... pero si la gente se rie es porque se ríen con vos no de vos,
además les alegras la vida :D y yo también soy un aparato. Pero sos una loca linda :D (iba a poner demente linda pero no quedaba tan tierno)
¡Besos Tia!

Ale: la vida nos va transformando en seres humanos multiples :D.
¡Maldito nuevo milenio! ¡Si!¡Maldito!
tenía deseos de maldecir :P
¡un abrazo Ale!

Celes: :D hay formas y formas de comer chicle y me alegro que te haya gustado el dibujo.
¡¡Un besote!!
(y es un gusto :)

Mordizcos: :D es la fotocopiación manual :D ¡Abrazo!

Celes: Jajajajaja yo dibuje lo que ví :D

ChaPa ((( 22 ))): ¡gracias Chapa! y si, porque no, ya encontaré excusa para irlos dibujando a todos ;)
¡Un Abrazo!

Anónimo dijo...

Y...para qué nos vamos a engañar...el de los transportes públicos, soy yo...si hasta he dormitado parada...Leo libros, reviso la agenda, atiendo el celular, ya sea por cuestiones administrativas, o aún conversando con pacientes...escucho música, leo el diario...antes comía (ahora me cuido un poco). Y cuando todo eso ya fue...me cuelgo de los dos brazos del pasamano, ¡Y a dormir!

bech dijo...

:D
¿Cómo Celes? ¿Y Yo? Soy múltiple , dividida, factoreada, sumada y restada. Pero siempre adelante.
Tengo dos o tres trabajos, diferentes horarios, hasta nombres diferentes por ahí.
Eso sí, si algún día alguien me dice ¿le ayudo abuela? (cuando lo aparente)no sé si voy a reprimir las ganas de golpearlo.

:D besis

Mona Loca dijo...

Uia! me reconocí en la chica multiple, pero no pierdo nada ( porque me muerooooooo) hay veces que ando peor que un Ekeko.

Tanta carga, me pone de un humor cercano al de la jodida señora que fue la otra con la uqe me identifiqué...

Tal es así, que las veces que salgo con la carterita y la carpeta nada mas, a cada rato me miro las manos, y luego alrededor mientras pienso...hhhhmmmm....¿me estoy olvidando de algo?

El Profe dijo...

Claudia:si vos lo decís, yo lo tomó en cuenta. Cada cual se hace cargo de lo suyo como dijo Woody en Toy Story "Si la bota te queda" ;) ¿De verdad te has dormido parada? XD

Apa:JAJAJAJA sabía algo de tu multiplicidad pero no que era para tanto. Yo no le diría abuela a nadie de todas maneras :D
¡Besotes!

El Profe dijo...

Mona: evidentemente somos todos múltiples :D eso me pasa llevo tantas cosas encima que cuando salgo con pocas cosas siento que perdí u olvidé algo :D
¡Un abrazote!

Anónimo dijo...

Si, en serio. Es un sueño liviano, pero muy efectivo. Cuando las manos se empiezan a resvalar del pasamanos, me despierto...

Anónimo dijo...

resbalar (perdón, es que ambas B y V, están una al lado de la otra en el teclado...)

El Profe dijo...

Claudia: Gracias por responder a mi duda XD ¿No estarías escribiendo desde el pasamanos que confundiste las teclas?
¡Abrazos!

Anónimo dijo...

creo que soy de todas las categorias, soy recontra multiple! xD

por ejemplo, me encannnta mirar la tele en mute mientras chateo xD

El Profe dijo...

Laantiprofesora: XD ves... ¡Al final la multiplicidad era re-común! va a ser el título del próximo post :P
(Estoy tipeando esto mientras tomo un té con limón, escucho música y miro de reojo unos videos)
¡Besote!

Anónimo dijo...

jajajaja! sabés la cantidad de veces que tuve que sacrificar el atendimiento del celular por no tener medios para llegar a el (que esta en el fondo de la cartera) escucharlo sonar, que la gente te mire con cara "te esta sonando el celular" y yo responder con cara de "si, que quiere que haga, no puedo!" con cartera tamaño extra large, bolsas de diferentes tamaños con botas que retiré del zapatero, tapers, paquetes de galletitas, compras del supermercados, ropa, y en la mano botellita de agua, entrega de la facultad (que nunca es menor a tamaño A3), carpetas, apuntes y campera porque hace calor para tenerla puesta!

ufff..........

El Profe dijo...

Rubiaa: yo digo "nos pasa a todos" ir cargados y no poder ni siquiera atender el celular, pero exceptúo el temita de la cartera porque yo no uso viste. :P
¡Abrazotes Rubietitud!

Anónimo dijo...

nos valemos de la capacidad de llevar nuestra incapacidad al extremo... y eso ya es mucho, cuando menos podemos, mas tratamos, y si es algo sencillo mas no descoloca jajaja

El Profe dijo...

Anónimo: ¡Admiro su filosofía! y su manera de observar la vida ¡Sepalo!

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